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All you had to do to become a hero in the 60′s was write a song or two that violated some societal taboo, have conspicuous promiscuous sex and die from an overdose of drugs.

See Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison.

At least the first two were talented.

Lame lame-duck Governor Charlie Crist has given a posthumous pardon to the third, The Doors’ lead singer and prolific drug-head, Jim Morrison:

Outgoing Gov. Charlie Crist asked for the pardon, which the Clemency Board granted unanimously. Crist said he doubts Morrison actually exposed his penis during a rowdy March 1, 1969 concert at Miami’s Dinner Key Auditorium. He and a three-member Cabinet serve as the Clemency Board. The surviving members of The Doors supported the pardon. 

Crist at the hearing called the conviction a “blot” on the record of an accomplished artist for “something he may or may not have done.” He said Morrison died before he was afforded the chance to present his appeal, so Crist was doing that for him. Board members pointed out several times that they couldn’t retry the case but that the pardon forgave Morrison, as others were absolved of their convictions on Thursday. 

“In this case the guilt or innocence is in God’s hands, not ours,” Crist said. 

I have no doubt that Governor Tanning Bed is a big fan of the Doors’ music and that that was a big influence on his decision to grant the pardon. That certainly makes sense because Jim Morrison’s lyrical poetry rivals that of Shakespeare, Milton and Blake. Just listen to this monosyllabic tour de farce:

Love me two times, baby
Love me twice today
Love me two times, girl
I’m goin’ away
Love me two times, girl
One for tomorrow
One just for today
Love me two times
I’m goin’ away

Love me one time
I could not speak
Love me one time
Yeah, my knees got weak
But love me two times, girl
Last me all through the week
Love me two times
I’m goin’ away
Love me two times
I’m goin’ away

Oh, yes

Love me one time
I could not speak
Love me one time, baby
Yeah, my knees got weak
But love me two times, girl
Last me all through the week
Love me two times
I’m goin’ away

Love me two times, babe
Love me twice today
Love me two times, babe
‘Cause I’m goin’ away
Love me two time, girl
One for tomorrow
One just for today
Love me two times
I’m goin’ away
Love me two times
I’m goin’ away
Love me two times
I’m goin’ away

Paul Simon could eat two cans of alphabet soup, stick his finger down his throat and induce better lyrics than this.

Jim Morrison died of a drug overdose at the age of 27. His entire adult life was dedicated to getting high and screwing groupies. He was not an accomplished artist as the above lyrics prove, but rather an attractive iconoclast who just happened to live in an iconoclastic time.

There must be someone more worthy of a Crist pardon than this loser.

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